The Advice Thread (formerly GSYWTLO)

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Derek, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    Or you can find that rare guy that'll be with you knowing that it isn't his child you're carrying. Couldn't have put it better myself. Of course I would know :lol:
     
  2. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    It's really not in my nature to double post, but I just need help.

    These past couple of days since Ben left I have been feeling depressed, angry and lost. I've found myself crying every ten minutes, unable to motivate myself to even do simple things for myself like brush my hair. He's been trying to say he's sorry by saying he'll do all these things, like the other day, take me to the Boxing Day sales - never happened and today take me to breakfast - never happened. His parents from day one have hated me, and I know for a fact that his mother is two faced bitch. And he sleeps over there basically every night. His sister his a spoiled little brat who pisses me off entirely. I have been barely eating as it is, only really giving food to Mia and making sure Mia's okay but when I come to do stuff for myself, I can't do it. I haven't stopped him from seeing Mia (although not biological he still loves her like his daughter) and he's leaving for Kempsey tomorrow because I refuse to play happy couple with Godparents. I'm slowly snapping at Mia for the innocent things that she does and I just don't want to hurt her because I've lost my cool with her over something she does every day. I'm too afraid to ask my parents for help for my history of depression and I don't know what to do. I cry over the most simpliest of things, I wake up not wanting to face the world.
     
  3. travz21

    travz21 Muscle Museum LPA Super Member

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    You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. You shouldn't be with someone because they feel good about yourself. I'm just speaking generally, not about you. I know girls that stay with guys because they feel lost on their own, not because the guy is actually good for them. If you think this guy is a good person and has every intent to treat you like you deserve, then I'd say try to patch things up with him. But if you're feeling lonely without him just because you don't like being alone, I'd say move on.

    Also, if you think you need help with your depression, go find it. There's no reason to delay getting help and feeling miserable. Your daughter needs you.
     
  4. $pvcxGhxztCasey

    $pvcxGhxztCasey meanwhile... LPA Addicted VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    There's also another undisclosed reason why another side wants me to stay with him which I don't want to disclose to LPA right now and I haven't even told my parents. So he came over, he apologised and we talked. We tried to act normal, or at least he did, like nothing had happened, and here I was feeling yet again depressed and miserable. I give him so much credit for the way he loves Mia unlike her biological father just wants to throw her in a dumpster and leave her there. I do love him, but I can't act like nothing had happened. I can't even face his mother or father, despite the fact they know nothing of the extent of our argument. Yes I admit it, I'm afraid to be alone. I know that's not a positive thing, but at least I'll admit to it. I can't say that these two years have been a waste, now that I've calmed down, I really can't.
     
  6. Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    Couples argue. It's just a fact that nobody will 100% live in harmony.

    You can pull through. At least you both talked though and apologized. Whats left? Only the hurt feelings about how it went?

    Could be time to move on, isn't it? Sure, you can't act like nothing happened, but why be held back by it?

    Don't be scared to ask your parents. I mean, Is it much to ask to talk to your own daughter about being lost in motherhood? (or in your case, just lost.)

    If anything, the clouds come and go, but there's always tomorrrows sunrise, and every night the stars glimmer. Everythings going to be fine, and we all get into ruts once in a while.

    :)
     
  7. _cam_

    _cam_ Well-Known Member

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    speechless
     
  8. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    So he left yesterday morning for Kempsey and things have dramatically eased up. Less stressed we're talking again and we're acting normal like civilised adults.
     
  9. Ginger

    Ginger Orangutan LPA VIP

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    Fighting isnt always a bad thing, good things come out of them sometimes, if they dont get out of control. Me and my girlfriend always fight about stupid things but we always love each other even more after we make up. Sarah's situation is a lot more difficult than most.
     
  10. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    I've officially had it with my mother in law, Monique. She has given me so much stress and put me down a lot behind my back to a lot of people, even to people I know not through her, and so I turned around and said to Ben that I would not be marrying into a family where I am hated just for the sheer fact that she assumes that I am a user and that everything is a lie. I'm trying my best to make my relationship work with Ben and now she tells me this. Okay, so she's nice enough to help Ben with the baby while I went to Sydney and attended my brother's wedding. But what really annoyed me, after repeated attempts to make our relationship work, is that she turns around and asks, why the hell I could not bring Mia to the wedding. I did explain to Ben that not even my five year old nephew was not allowed to attend as it was on a cruise in Sydney Harbour (no Finding Nemo jokes please) and that it was strictly no kids allowed.

    When Ben and I first got together, she treated me like I was trash. Sure I was carrying another man's baby, but I did explain to her that it was Ben's choice to take me and Mia on and that Shannon wanted nothing to do with Mia. I can see why she would be catious of the situation, but eleven months later, despite my repeated attempts to try and repair our relationship, she still is whispering stuff into Ben's ear about leaving me.

    She has never supported us in any way, nor has his family. My family has supported us, my Mum despite her opinion about our relationship, still doesn't treat Ben the same way Monique treats me.

    What the hell do I do? I don't want to disconnect Ben from his family. Ben and I have had our fights and our differences, and the last thing I want to do is make him choose. I've already thought about picking up and leaving towns with Ben, but my family is also here in this town. What's worse is that she won't come over, and talk to me face to face, I've had to do it, I've had to come over and do the talking. His father supports me and Ben, and his siblings are too young to understand. I've tried to avoid talking to her for the past weeks, but I had to face her yesterday and I felt like laying my two cents down.
     
  11. travz21

    travz21 Muscle Museum LPA Super Member

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    What are her reasons for not liking you and trash talking behind your back? What stuff does she say?

    You can pretty much lay down the law for her and tell her how it's going to be if worse comes to worst. Tell her you're not like she thinks you are, and that you and her son are going to be together, no matter what she tries to do to destroy that. She can either live out her life being miserable about that fact or she can try to accept the fact that you're apart of the family, a family you do want to be apart of.

    I don't know. I haven't fully thought out the situation lol. That is just a last resort option, which you might be at already. I'm not sure what else you could do at this point, though. I'm sure you've attempted to change her mind about you in more subtle ways without success.
     
  12. Derek

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

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    Officially bumped per Ree's request, and also to piss off Todd. :lol:
     
  13. Tim

    Tim My perversion power is accumulating LPA Super Member

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    Yay, my blog is back!
     
  14. Ree

    Ree a female witch. LPA Administrator

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    Derek - Todd might have something he wants to share with us. :lol:
     
  15. Derek

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

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    Advice on how to kill a fellow moderator :p.
     
  16. Tim

    Tim My perversion power is accumulating LPA Super Member

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    This post is great, haha. I missed it the first time.
     
  17. Jeff

    Jeff WORSHIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    Damn, I missed it too. SIGGED!
     
  18. Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    Anyone have any Advice for having a dorm-room-mate? I'm moving out for college soon. I'm kinda nervous.. : /
     
  19. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    Don't let them steal your shit.

    Is it wrong to stray from a relationship that your father in law even tells you that you deserve better then his own son? Im at a crossroads right now. Either continue being put down and trampled over or be with another guy who has promised to treat me better if I was with him. Help. :(
     
  20. TheZlajaZlo

    TheZlajaZlo Closing LPA Super Member

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    You gotta set the rules the first day. Let them know who is "The alpha room-mate" : )
     

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